The good, the bad and the ugly

Like most people, my experience in the dating world has been.... varied. I've had some wonderful relationships, truly happy ones with truly lovely people. I've also had some terrible ones, with terrible people. And unfortunately, those are the ones that tend to stick with us. I'll admit I'm guilty of tarring all guys with the same brush (I'm a cynic, remember) so I tend to expect the same treatment from all guys. My boss is always banging on about the laws of attraction, so maybe I'm stuck in a loop of a self fullfilling prophecy. I expect bad things to happen, therefore they do. Shit.

I often look back at how different things where back when my parents met. They lived around the corner from each other their entire lives. Then they lived together. It was a very different world back then. There was no Tinder, no plenty of fish. Chances were that you'd marry someone who lived within 10 minutes of you. It's hard at times not to put that up on a pedalstool and yearn for days gone by.

But then I think of all the opportunities the modern world has afforded me, and suddenly it doesn't seem so bad. Modern life and modern technology have completely reshaped how we date. They've made sex incredibly easy to find, but love much harder. Even our phones present us with a buffet of options, we can all afford to be that much more choosey. And while that might suit those who want to play the field and have no intention of settling down, what about those who don't?

The impression I get from a lot of single friends, and Ive asked around, is that relationships are almost a thing of the past. People are perfectly happy playing the field for the majority of their 20's before inevitably bowing to societal pressure. There's a part of that makes me really..... sad. I'm not for one second suggesting that everyone should settle down with the first person who professes their love, but in my opinion playing the field is crap! And I've seen people throw away something of actual substance to see if the grass is greener on the other side. And 9 times out of 10 it's just not. It's almost..... unusual to want to settle down in your 20's.

Perhaps I have lofty notions of love. And the worst thing you can have as an Irish person is notions. But I've seen the way my parents look at each other and I want that. I unashamedly want that, I'd struggle to see why anyone wouldn't! It's beautiful, it's safe, it's secure, it's fucking sickeningly happy..... of course I want it!!