Texters

Over the years I've identified several different types of texters. Below are what I deem the absolute WORST and the ones who aren't so bad-

The drip feeder

The drip feeder is generally someone you've been on a few dates with, maybe slept with. Before, texts would have been flying back and forth, hours of texty fun. But then, the messages start to trickle out, instead of hours of conversation you'll get a 'hey, what's up'. You'll reply, then get another similarly inane text an hour. I HATE IT!!!! I can only assume that by their logic they're keeping their options open. Or testing my limits to see how little effort they'll actually have to put in to keep me on the line. You wanna know the worst thing about drop feeders is? I ALWAYS FUCKING TEXT BACK.

The vanisher 

The vanisher is someone you've dated who just suddenly disappears into thin air. No explanation no reasoning, just kaput. I like to think that every vanisher I've ever encountered was abducted by aliens and is currently living out eternity having their arses probed by something spikey.

The sudden reappearer 

This is occasionally stage two of the vanisher. After you've sullenly resigned yourself to another failed exploit, they'll pop back up at 2 or 3 in the morning with an inexplicably chirpy message. Pop back down. Go away. NO!!

The polite one

Love these guys. They'll just send a text a say or so later saying 'was lovely to meet you, but I just didn't feel a connection' Absolutely fine my friend, and you're a gem for letting me know. Keep being a good guy!

The serial sexter 

These guys are pretty easy to spot. It generally doesn't even get to a date stage because he has tried to drag every single down a dark alley and have sex with it. He tries to turn everything into something sexual. He'll probably send you an unsolicited dick pic at 2 in the afternoon. While you're in work. Sketchy.

The one who asks for your number but never texts you

What??

So that's my list, anything I've missed?